Breaking the Silence
Our Secrets keep us sick
Let’s talk pattern disruption today.
Many of us have a secret that we don’t feel comfortable talking about. Today I’m going to share mine with you.
I was abused, physically, verbally and sexually as a child. Many times I was left with random people in scary situations. I entered the foster care system twice. I was terrified for most of my childhood, and I never knew what was going to happen next.
There was no pattern to make sense of the chaos, and I turned it inward. This abuse has felt taboo to talk about because a portion of it was from a person I love most, one of my parents.
Children that are sexually abused are six times more likely to developed PTSD.
And are 2-7 times more likely to be re-victimized as adults
As I progressed into early adulthood, I entered what I deemed passionate relationships which were a gross misinterpretation of domestic violence. Each time I was re-victimized my fears, phobias and self-hatred grew. Still, I kept my secret.
I developed PTSD. I started a downward cycle of mental health issues like anxiety, depression, phobias, nightmares, and PTSD triggers.
Next accustomed to being a victim most of my life I became my perpetrator caught in a cycle and self-harm like addiction and eating disorders. And still, I kept my secret.
Ya see, there is a stigma in our society that warns against speaking up about mental health issues and unfortunately speaking about our dark secrets is what’s required to begin to heal truly.
I hit bottom in my life and was offered an option to stop using drugs. From here my emotions went wild. I began to the process of healing when I started opening up.
I learned how to connect with my body and soothe my nervous system. I learned how to identify my thoughts and attach them to a sensation in my body.
I began practicing meditation and loving movement. I had to learn how to connect through my heart which meant going to through layers of my guilt, shame, rage, and sadness. The healing was through my pain.
This has been a journey towards self-love and self-acceptance, and it created an upward healing spiral in my life.
Today I have been clean for thirteen years, I have overcome anxiety, began healing trauma and eating disorders.
If you’re looking to heal, then it’s time to connect the dots between childhood abuse, mental health issues, and self-harm behavior. If you have a trauma buried inside of you that could be why your mental health is declining.
Many of us are going to a doctor and talking about the surface layers of the anxiety and depression yet we are not opening up about what’s buried beneath. We are being treated for anxiety and not addressing the trauma. You need to know that you can be free.
It’s time to speak up. It’s equally important to be heard. Find someone that will hear you and truly listen.
Do you have a secret that you have sworn to take to the grave?
Is your life and health suffering because of it?
Harboring deep secrets like “the take it to the grave” can slowly kill you inside.
My take it to the grave almost brought me to the grave.
Here at ASW, I call you warriors. This plays off my life philosophy of not just surviving but thriving.
My question for you is, are you ready to be free?